I love you, but I kinda have to eat you now!

   If I was a purple dinosaur, I would not be caught singing dumb love and sharing songs! And why the hell would my belly be green... Just doesn't make any sense! Hello boys and girls... lets play pretend.. dumb!
I am surprise today's society allows this to happen. What happens if this dino gets hungry? Haven't you fuckers seen Jurassic Park? That shit really happens! Dinosaurs eat meat like people... lets put a handful kids in a room to sing happy love me songs and then throw in a fucking hungry T-Rex! Its like a colorful bag of gummy bears! Just fucking dumb idea!
Who doesn't like Gummy bears anyways! Have you ever tried them frozen or fried? Yes I know... only a fat guy! But they are like gods lil colorful happy pills! I like me some Gummy Bears... I wish they could dance and sing and play pretend with me... then when I get hungry I would eat them one by one!

Warm your heart with Air Power

I just didn't sign some piece of paper work. I changed my life... and the sad thing about it, I kinda like this life.

      On July the 5th, since everything was closed on the 4th, I joined the United States Air Force. I joined this club because in my heart I felt I could do better then busting my ass 50 hours managing a Burger King, serving and dancing at Joes Crab Shack, and still go to school. Not saying that either of those jobs are not important, but for me... I knew I was created for something else. Looking back all these years, I am glad I did. I have learned so many new things and accomplished so many goals that I would have never had the chance if I wasn't in the military. Its not just the commercial things; college, traveling, and a good paycheck... its the hidden jewels that make me proud. Yes, I have a degree, yes I traveled the world, but I am honestly proud. My heart is warm and it wants more! 

     The United States Air Force has introduced me to so many new faces and talented people. I made so many friends in all the locations I had the chance to see, its hard to remember them all. Even while deployed, and being away from family, these friends make the months seem more like weeks. You make new friends that will watch your back and only ask in return... you watch theirs. Friends from one base, usually stay in contact, because the AF is small... and one day we will see each other again. 

Its like a brotherhood, a melting pot. We are all family, one big proud family.

   When I wake up in the morning, even after going to the gym at 5am, I feel excited about my job. No my job isn't like James Bondish nor what you see on Call of Duty, but its my job. I am a piece of this puzzle that allows this club to do so many great things. I see the bigger picture. Lets be honest. Sitting at my desk spending cash and tracking part all day doesn't sound like a dream job, but when your wearing "the Uniform" it doesn't take much to give you that warm feeling. 

   I am proud of the heritage, the obstacles we have accomplished, and the changes we have lived through. I have seen the darkness and the great things our military is involved in. I am proud to make that salute and to wear my reflective belt when its dark. Work long hours and weekends. Deploy and leave my family behind for months for the cause. Its that warm feeling I am talking about. If you have never served, you just dont have that 24-7 warm heart feeling. The proudness of what you have and will accomplish, will remind you everyday why you have signed on the dotted line.

The United States Air Force isnt for everyone, but I honestly can say when I managed a Burger King or served at a Restaurant my heart wasn't this warm, I am proud.

Falling Leaf

Summer tears dry instantly 
The changes happen so dramatically
Once so bright and full of life
Altered into dry rusty strife
The day is fading without delay
The darkness conquers victoriously
Dangling high and above them all
Just to wait for that final fall

My Boss is pissing me off! Take 2.

Problem: 
I am worried about my leadership. There isnt an hour where they are not forced to deal with a stressful situation. Honestly... they have no hair left to be pulled out. No really... they are bald and look at least 20 years older! The management office is a dark and grim place where no smiles and laughter has ever entered or walked out. 

Problem: 
Your kids are spoiled and have a fish, hamsters, and 3 birds. You are sick and tired of taking care of all these pets even after all the broken promises. Your kids dont help out and the fish tank is dirty, the hamster cage stinks, and the birds are about to die. You tell them every day, please take care of the pets or I am giving them away, but they are spoiled and know that you will take care of the pets before this happens. 

Solution: 
We need a fish tank for our management office. Fish are proven to help maintain peace in an office. It also relaxes the atmosphere and provides a natural stress reliever. We are a very poor organization and will happily accept free hand me downs. 
Here is your chance to give us your fish tank...for free! Take control off your house again. You tell those kids who the boss is! 
Once they notice the fish are gone and the other items might be next, they will listen, respect, and help you out. This method has been proven in 27 states and 13 countries! 
Your kids will help out and my Boss will smile more... we all win! 

So email me if you have a complete fish tank for free with pump and other needed items. 

Thanks.


http://www.ramsteinyardsales.com/item.jsp?itemId=23842319

This my friend can make you very smart, sexy, and superdooper!

    Wearing shoes to walk will assist in the travel. Smiles are fun to look at but frowns are desired. Many people make a group, if they all frown its because they are not wearing any shoes.
Do you like soggy cereal or hard cereal? Leaving milk in to long will cause your cereal to get soggy. Soggy cereal is easier to swallow and less work to clean afterwards. If it takes only 3 pigs to build a house, why hasnt Ty hired any pigs on extreme home makeover? Smoking can kill you, but there are so many positive benefits. Pooping and laughing at the same time can cause extreme stomach aches. When having a BBQ and inviting friends its a good idea to make sure you have enough gas or charcoal stuff. Speaking of gas have you ever wondered what would happen if you put 4 gassy guys in a small car and one box of chocolate? Sun and moon are both round and they are both way up in the sky. Apples, bananas, and cherries are all fruit. You ever just sit there and thought about how stuff works, like how do they get all those small people in those TVs... and now they have flat screens... just crazy stuff! If you take the words: Hot-Shit and delete the vowels you get Htsht! Ok ok, I know this is all random stuff but I have to sometimes let stuff flow! Here is a cool rap:
I think your cool
cause you know me
I like when you smile
and when you scream meowy
Bitch!


Trees in the forest dance when wind sing the song of dancing trees. The song is heard by all the trees who respond by winging back and forth and then they make babies. Tree sperm is nasty!
Now have I lost you yet? Toessmahingagainsteachothercancreatefrictionandthenbumpsthatcanbustandsquirtstuffatyou.
Ok ok, take every first word from the sentences above starting with "wearing" to create a secret statement!
Things some people do to pass the time especially when time is there to be spent.