Drinking and Driving

Drinking and driving, that sounds fun!

Some people make the dumb mistake of driving after having a couple of drinks. These people do this knowing the consequences! In todays Air Force; the weekly briefing, the monthly safety demonstrations, and the yearly stats, should paint a picture why not to ever think about drinking and driving. So this might be harsh... but ohh well! I dont care about your past awards nor your great work habits you done something illegal! Now face the consequences. 

Well Kessler, what would you say if one of your best friends made the mistake of drinking and driving... Well my best friends fucking know better... but lets just say it happened... Ohh well you fucked up, now face your consequences. I love you and all... but again you fucked up. 

But Kess, wouldn't you feel bad...

Why... everyone today knows why not to drink and drive and what can happen! If your man enough to make the decision to drink alcohol, then you should be man enough to call a cab, ask for a ride, get a hotel room, hitch a ride with a friend, call AADD, take the train home, give your keys away, post for help on facebook, have a plan, did I mention call somebody... shit there's over 250 peoples name on a piece of paper with... you guessed it... with phone numbers! Not to mention... we just had a wingman day... and were instructed to input certain phone numbers including AADD!

Thats just soooo dumb! Like I said if your man enough to drink and drive... then your man enough to understand you fucked up... now face your consequences. 

Come on Kess... this guy/girl is a great mechanic and the Air Force would loose out if we give up on him/her....

OK, so what? If you cant follow laws/regulations, your not a team player, and you certainly only care about yourself... get out of my Air Force.

I know this is harsh, but come on people... how many times are we gonna have to deal with these kids who think... ahhh I am ok, this cant happen to me. We give them everything we can, but we cant give them the ability to always make the right decisions. Thats on them... and if they cant do that... bye bye.

Our squadron is at a high. This will not change anything. We have to many good people that can outwash these lil mistakes. We wont miss a beat. We will continue. Even IF we loose our goal day... because of selfish-stupid mistakes it doesn't bother me. Im not serving my country for the free goal days... I serve to make sure dumb-inconsiderate fools like yourself have a job at your uncles lawn cutting business and free ticket home when the Air Force kicks you out! 

Good night....

These are just my thoughts and have no affiliation with 86VRS, United States Air Force, or your uncles lawn cutting business.

86th VRS saves Christmas!

The red-warning beacon light froze quiet on that cold 24^th of December day.  Nothing was going to make this test flight continue without a proper working beacon light, the Federal Aviation Regulations made sure of that! The flight cut through the clouds and below, Ramstein Air Force Base, welcomed a smooth emergency landing.  The landing didn’t take place on the famous flight line, but rather in the 86^th Vehicle Readiness Squadron incoming parking lot. Santa Claus didn’t trust anyone else to work on his sleigh.

Old Saint Nick climbed out of his sleigh and collected his proper documents. SSgt Bryan Williams met Santa outside the Customer Service office. “Santa is it a frozen super charger again?” SSgt Williams asked welcoming him with a big warm hug.

“No Bryan, its my warning beacon light, do we have one in stock?” Santa asked while handing over his properly filled out 1800 form.

“It’s not looking good, but are these scratches on the waiver form?” 

Santa wasn’t sure, but he definitely remembered that rough winter night trip with Ms. Claus. Those icebergs came out of nowhere! But, luckily Santa turned in his sleigh right afterwards and it was document on the waiver card.

“Santa, it looks like we might have to keep your sleigh over night since it is due for the yearly schedule maintenance. We will have to grease all the bells, perform a proper weight stress test, and we finally got in that upgrade for the twinkle booster generator. This will allow you to fly 15% faster!”

“But what about Christmas? Will it be ready by tonight?” Santa asks nervously.

“Santa, we will try, but there is no telling when this inspection and repairs will be accomplished.” SSgt Williams uncertainly whispered.

Santa Claus handed over his candy cane shaped key, kissed his trusty reindeers goodbye, and walked towards Vehicle Ops. He arranged for a room in the KMCC but needed some transportation to get there. Good thing he knew SrA Charles Cooper at Vehicle Ops. Who joyfully picked Santa up and drove him to the hotel without any delay.

Back at Vehicle Maintenance, SSgt Charles Smith got his little helpers to pull the old sleigh over the pit and performed the normal routine preventative maintenance. SSgt Smith completed a parts request for the beacon light and delivered it to Materiel Control.

“Great news, SSgt Smith, we have one in supply. Let me order it and it should be here shortly… since Santa’s sleigh always has high priority.” SSgt Thomas Kessler assured.

SSgt Smith left the request and headed back to GP light to work and inspect the world famous sleigh. At the same time SSgt Kessler ordered and tracked the needed part from the Supply office at the 86^th Logistic Readiness Squadron. The help desk promised for a fast turn around. With the support of Vehicle Ops, the part got delivered within the hour. Just in time, since the maintenance shop just completed their inspection and was waiting for this high profile part. The mechanics expertly replaced the beacon light and pushed the sleigh to the ready line.

Without hesitation, the magical sleigh got a thorough quality inspection from the Vehicle Maintenance Superintendent, passed, and the work order was closed by SrA Tonya Jeffers who also called Santa Claus to give him the great news.

“Are you sure, this was very fast. I was just about to eat some warm cookies and watch some great AFN commercials, “Santa cheerfully questioned.

“Yes Santa, your sleigh is ready for pick up, “ SrA Jeffers guaranteed.

Santa jumped out of bed and picked up his glasses, checked out of the hotel, and jumped on a Blue Bird Bus where he got dropped off in front of the 86VRS compound. He saw his sleigh and noticed something different.

“Bryan… where are my scratches?”

“Santa, the body shop took care of those and our maintenance professionals completed the safety checks, installed the upgrade booster, and replaced the faulty beacon light. Your sleigh is now ready for tonight!” SSgt Bryan noted as he handed over the red and white striped key.

Santa Claus jumped in his sleigh, smiled at SSgt Williams, and with a gentle tug on the black leather strap, whooshed up the sky. With his famous-loud HoHoHo, he also shouted, “I can always count on the 86^th VRS” as he disappeared above the Ramstein Air Force Base flighline.

I love you, but I kinda have to eat you now!

   If I was a purple dinosaur, I would not be caught singing dumb love and sharing songs! And why the hell would my belly be green... Just doesn't make any sense! Hello boys and girls... lets play pretend.. dumb!
I am surprise today's society allows this to happen. What happens if this dino gets hungry? Haven't you fuckers seen Jurassic Park? That shit really happens! Dinosaurs eat meat like people... lets put a handful kids in a room to sing happy love me songs and then throw in a fucking hungry T-Rex! Its like a colorful bag of gummy bears! Just fucking dumb idea!
Who doesn't like Gummy bears anyways! Have you ever tried them frozen or fried? Yes I know... only a fat guy! But they are like gods lil colorful happy pills! I like me some Gummy Bears... I wish they could dance and sing and play pretend with me... then when I get hungry I would eat them one by one!

Warm your heart with Air Power

I just didn't sign some piece of paper work. I changed my life... and the sad thing about it, I kinda like this life.

      On July the 5th, since everything was closed on the 4th, I joined the United States Air Force. I joined this club because in my heart I felt I could do better then busting my ass 50 hours managing a Burger King, serving and dancing at Joes Crab Shack, and still go to school. Not saying that either of those jobs are not important, but for me... I knew I was created for something else. Looking back all these years, I am glad I did. I have learned so many new things and accomplished so many goals that I would have never had the chance if I wasn't in the military. Its not just the commercial things; college, traveling, and a good paycheck... its the hidden jewels that make me proud. Yes, I have a degree, yes I traveled the world, but I am honestly proud. My heart is warm and it wants more! 

     The United States Air Force has introduced me to so many new faces and talented people. I made so many friends in all the locations I had the chance to see, its hard to remember them all. Even while deployed, and being away from family, these friends make the months seem more like weeks. You make new friends that will watch your back and only ask in return... you watch theirs. Friends from one base, usually stay in contact, because the AF is small... and one day we will see each other again. 

Its like a brotherhood, a melting pot. We are all family, one big proud family.

   When I wake up in the morning, even after going to the gym at 5am, I feel excited about my job. No my job isn't like James Bondish nor what you see on Call of Duty, but its my job. I am a piece of this puzzle that allows this club to do so many great things. I see the bigger picture. Lets be honest. Sitting at my desk spending cash and tracking part all day doesn't sound like a dream job, but when your wearing "the Uniform" it doesn't take much to give you that warm feeling. 

   I am proud of the heritage, the obstacles we have accomplished, and the changes we have lived through. I have seen the darkness and the great things our military is involved in. I am proud to make that salute and to wear my reflective belt when its dark. Work long hours and weekends. Deploy and leave my family behind for months for the cause. Its that warm feeling I am talking about. If you have never served, you just dont have that 24-7 warm heart feeling. The proudness of what you have and will accomplish, will remind you everyday why you have signed on the dotted line.

The United States Air Force isnt for everyone, but I honestly can say when I managed a Burger King or served at a Restaurant my heart wasn't this warm, I am proud.

Falling Leaf

Summer tears dry instantly 
The changes happen so dramatically
Once so bright and full of life
Altered into dry rusty strife
The day is fading without delay
The darkness conquers victoriously
Dangling high and above them all
Just to wait for that final fall

My Boss is pissing me off! Take 2.

Problem: 
I am worried about my leadership. There isnt an hour where they are not forced to deal with a stressful situation. Honestly... they have no hair left to be pulled out. No really... they are bald and look at least 20 years older! The management office is a dark and grim place where no smiles and laughter has ever entered or walked out. 

Problem: 
Your kids are spoiled and have a fish, hamsters, and 3 birds. You are sick and tired of taking care of all these pets even after all the broken promises. Your kids dont help out and the fish tank is dirty, the hamster cage stinks, and the birds are about to die. You tell them every day, please take care of the pets or I am giving them away, but they are spoiled and know that you will take care of the pets before this happens. 

Solution: 
We need a fish tank for our management office. Fish are proven to help maintain peace in an office. It also relaxes the atmosphere and provides a natural stress reliever. We are a very poor organization and will happily accept free hand me downs. 
Here is your chance to give us your fish tank...for free! Take control off your house again. You tell those kids who the boss is! 
Once they notice the fish are gone and the other items might be next, they will listen, respect, and help you out. This method has been proven in 27 states and 13 countries! 
Your kids will help out and my Boss will smile more... we all win! 

So email me if you have a complete fish tank for free with pump and other needed items. 

Thanks.


http://www.ramsteinyardsales.com/item.jsp?itemId=23842319

This my friend can make you very smart, sexy, and superdooper!

    Wearing shoes to walk will assist in the travel. Smiles are fun to look at but frowns are desired. Many people make a group, if they all frown its because they are not wearing any shoes.
Do you like soggy cereal or hard cereal? Leaving milk in to long will cause your cereal to get soggy. Soggy cereal is easier to swallow and less work to clean afterwards. If it takes only 3 pigs to build a house, why hasnt Ty hired any pigs on extreme home makeover? Smoking can kill you, but there are so many positive benefits. Pooping and laughing at the same time can cause extreme stomach aches. When having a BBQ and inviting friends its a good idea to make sure you have enough gas or charcoal stuff. Speaking of gas have you ever wondered what would happen if you put 4 gassy guys in a small car and one box of chocolate? Sun and moon are both round and they are both way up in the sky. Apples, bananas, and cherries are all fruit. You ever just sit there and thought about how stuff works, like how do they get all those small people in those TVs... and now they have flat screens... just crazy stuff! If you take the words: Hot-Shit and delete the vowels you get Htsht! Ok ok, I know this is all random stuff but I have to sometimes let stuff flow! Here is a cool rap:
I think your cool
cause you know me
I like when you smile
and when you scream meowy
Bitch!


Trees in the forest dance when wind sing the song of dancing trees. The song is heard by all the trees who respond by winging back and forth and then they make babies. Tree sperm is nasty!
Now have I lost you yet? Toessmahingagainsteachothercancreatefrictionandthenbumpsthatcanbustandsquirtstuffatyou.
Ok ok, take every first word from the sentences above starting with "wearing" to create a secret statement!
Things some people do to pass the time especially when time is there to be spent.