Baby making recipe

So I was playing some beer pong at my best bud Craig Smith's house (free shout out) and one of the couples there asked me, "Kessler, all knowledgeable one,  what do we have to do to make a baby?"

People always ask me the tough questions, why, cause I care and I have the answers. My answers might not be the correct ones, but they are true and right. My knowledge is a gift, and what do you do with gifts? You tear off the wrapping, open the box and pretend you like what you see. But I am the gift giver. So I share my knowledge... makes perfect sense.

So how do we create another life? How are babies made? Yes sex. duh! But some couples try, try try and no baby in the baby batter. So when asked this questions and loosing real bad to my buddy at beer pong, the answer just tumbled out of my mouth.

1. Well, you first need to want to have a baby! Both man and woman really need to want to have a baby. They both really want to change shitty diapers and miss out on cool stuff like sleep and a social life! Only once both adults accept that they are ready to be mother and father, only then will the baby making process work.

2. You need beer! Not any beer... cheap beer! Miller light will do, no bottles... just one can.

3. One blue 16oz solo cup. Yes it has to be the blue one!

4. No condoms, no birth control, and no fucking pulling out! No jizz wasted! So no cumming on backs, faces, or belly buttons!

While sitting in the bed, the woman will hold the cup with her jacking off hand. You might have to tell her to stop laughing and to hold the cup over her heart!
You both should be naked... you are sitting on the bed...duh!
Now its the tricky part, fill the cup with the miller light, again the guy should be naked too!
When the blue solo cup is filled with beer, both take turns drinking small zips. The guy is permitted to sneak some tit grabbing. When the beer is done. Start having sex. It doesn't matter who is on top, if her legs are crossed or pointing at the ceilings or if you hold your breath! Just make sure to cum in her... wait 15-20 seconds after you exploded in her then pull out, wash up and kiss each other good night.
She is not permitted to go pee! VERY IMPORTANT!

Thats it... trust me it will work... if you follow all my steps!