Dream in a Dream

So I had a dream last night. It was our Do-over wedding day and I was getting ready. Where are my pants? I couldn't find my pants. I was standing there in the bedroom, trying to find my pants. They didnt hang in my closet, they werent in my bed, they where not on the floor. I look down and I already had them on. Crazy huh. I woke up breathing heavy.
Des said to me, "I found my dress!"
"Oh, was I talking in my sleep?" I asked.
"No, I found my dress." She assured.

This was starting to get weird. I kinda ignored the conversation and went back to sleep.
Today, during my study session break, I asked Desiree again: "I guess I was talking in my sleep last night."
"No, why? I didn't hear anything" Des explained.
"Then why did you say you found your wedding dress?" I asked.
She gave me that (your crazy dude) look and asked, "what are you talking about?"

So either three things happened last night:
1. I slept with the wrong woman.
2. We both had dreams about missing wedding clothes and Desiree just couldn't remember hers.
3. I had a dream in a dream! Now thats some crazy shit!

Through Dominique's mother’s eyes.

Sight of the accident and during the accident:

Through Dominique's mother’s eyes.  

It was Friday 17 February 2012 2:20pm.  I get Hayden ready for Gymnastics, get Dominique's gymnastics’ clothes ready, grab each girl a juicy and a snack for on the way.  I know Dominique is always hungry when she gets out of school.  Snack was green grapes, fruit by the foot, and a grape juicy.  Time is (around) 2:35pm; Hayden and I get in the car to drive to the bus stop to get Dom.  We park across from the bus house like every Friday.  

Hayden got into Dom's grapes and spits a nasty grape inside her baggy.  I grab the grapes and pick the nasty one out and throw it out the window.  

2:48pm: That’s when I see bus number 1.  Hayden says "Mom there is Dom's bus".  I say "Nope, that is bus 305".  But then the bus starts slowing down, turning on its blinker.  I am confused.  What happened to bus 305?  Just then I look up and see a bus coming at a greater speed than normal.  I look at Dom's bus, I look at the bus coming, I look at Dom's bus, I look at the bus coming, I see Dom get up, I see she is the third person in line, I see Dom head getting lower as she is exiting the bus, I look at the bus coming, I see Dom in front of the bus, I see the bus beside me, I hear the screams, I hear the brakes on the bus, all while jumping out of the car and running behind the still moving bus.  I see my babies boots still in the air, I see my baby rolling down the street.  I run to her, I see her eyes rolled back in her head. I start yelling her name over and over.  I tell her to stay with me.  I look up, I see that bastard hiding his face in his hands, shaking his head.  And see the number of the bus 309.   I yell; call 112 call 112.  Both adults on the bus shrug their shoulders at me.  I look over my right shoulder to a man (Alex) that had his phone in his hand and demanded him call 112.  Dom is alert and screaming at me.  "I am ok, I am ok, please momma just take me home."  She is kicking, screaming, and trying to get up.  I ask another lady to help me hold her legs.  This lady tells me, she can't, she can’t restrain her.  So I lay down, wrap my legs around hers and cradle my child.  I then tell her "Ok!  I need my handy.  It is in my purse.” She ran and got it.  I look over my right shoulder and see a familiar face.  It is Sammy (a 12 year old smart caring kid).  I ask him to go get Hayden.  He says "OK" and runs off.  Alex is now off the phone and tells me "they are on their way.”  I then send him to Hayden as well.  The lady comes back with my phone and my purse.  First number I call was Thomas.  He answers, I say "Dominique was hit by a bus, meet me at Landstuhl."  He replies back with "OK, on my way".  My second call was to my house.  My dad answers; I say, "Dominique was hit by a bus, I need you".  He doesn't even hang up the phone.  I hear an "OH MY GOD" and him running through the house.  I hear my Mom in the background yell "What, What?”  All of this while trying keeping Dominique awake.  

I hear glass still hitting the road.  I hear kids crying behind my back.  I look up and see parents and other by standers across the street. Yet nobody is helping me.  

I get a tap on my left shoulder. When I look up I hear "I so sorry".  I scream at him "I hope you rot in hell, you stupid bastard" as he walks away.  He turns to me and bows down with his hands together (as if he were praying).  

After about 3 minute after the accident Dom's eye was swollen shut.  My phone rings, It is Thomas.  I answer; He asks, "so I am meeting you at Landstuhl?", I say "No, just come to Sembach. The ambulance isn't even here."  Then we hang up.  I look up and my Dad is running up; white faced.  He asked, "what the hell happened?” I replied, "that stupid bastard hit her!”  He then asked, "Where is Hayden?”  I say, "In my car, can you get here and shut it off".  He replied "yes".  

The sounds I am hearing is moaning, Dom is in and out of consciousness.  

I am starting to shiver.  It is so cold.  The road is wet.  A man took off his jacket and put it over Dominique and a lady from across the street brings blankets for Dom and me.  

I look up and see yet another familiar face, it’s Thomas.  He comes to my side.  But at first just to have the police and German police surround him to ask him a million and one questions.  Finally after getting asked the same question 6 times he then tells them in a loud voice "You know, not right now, let me be with my daughter".  They backed off.  Some how they already had my ID.  I don't remember giving it to them.  

During this time without me even knowing my dad had taken Hayden back to my mom and ran back to the site.  

Finally, all the questions were answered to the police. 

I hear this sound, it is a loud noise, and it’s a siren.  It sounded like heaven to me.  Once they are by her side, I back up and let them take over.  I broke then in Thomas' arms.  They say something to each other about " a helicopter coming with the Dr.” I look up to them taking her and putting her into the back of the ambulance.  I hear a helicopter in the air.  I run (hobble) to the back of the ambulance.  Just for them to shut the door in my face.  So Thomas and I walk over to the passenger side so I can still see her.  

Thomas shields me from flying debris, while the helicopter landed. The Dr. opened the door, and ran to the ambulance.  They shut the door behind him.  He comes back out, and the Medic tells Thomas that they are taking her to Westphalz in Kaiserslautern.  Thomas is telling them that they need to take me with.  Once they are ready to transport her, they tell me to get in.  It was the longest ride of my life.  I can't see in the back, I can't hear her, I can't see her.  I am scared.  

Once we arrived at the hospital.  I get out, I watch them take her in.  I followed them in.  The nurses stop me and tell me I can't go any further.  She will be ok and for me to sit here and wait for them to give me an update.  That was the longest wait of my life.  A female walks slowly towards me caring two bags full.  I could tell they where Dom's clothes cause of the backpack hanging out of the bag in her left hand.  She tells me here are her belongings and walks away without a peep.  

I am getting texts and calls.  Finally I call one person that has known her since birth and that person is Christi.  I tell her what happened.  She is in shock.  I don't remember the whole conversation. 

 Finally, I hear a familiar voice.  It was Thomas and my dad.  I stand up and yell "Thomas".  He looks up at me and walks fast to hold me.  I will honestly say this was the first time I ever saw my dad and Thomas break down and cry.  It killed me.  I felt like I needed to be the strong one.  Hold them, be the shoulder to cry on, speaking positive. 

After a while, a Dr. and his male nurse came in and told us they needed to do emergency brain surgery on her.  They needed to place a gauge in her brain to measure the swelling.  They needed our permission.  They were already prepping her for this surgery.  We gave the go ahead.  He tells us we need to go wait in 20/2 Kinder NICU, cause that is where they will bring her next.  As the Dr. was walking off a man was walking in and sat across from us.  Dressed in a back long pea coat, suit, nice dress shoes.  After 2 min he introduces himself.  He is the "Bastards supervisor" aka Transportation supervisor.  He asks what we knew about her condition. He writes down what we say which isn't much cause we didn't know anything just yet.  He then tells us he is so sorry but Dominique should have looked both ways.  I start yelling at him, and before I could rip him a new one Thomas interrupts and tells him that this isn't the time or the place, he knows he means well, but he needed to leave.  He follows us to 20/2.  Thomas then tells him again, Thanks but it is time for you to leave.  He finally shakes Thomas' hand and leaves.  

We rang the bell to the NICU and they show us the waiting area.  Finally they come and let us know that she has arrived, but it will be a few before we can go see her.  I sit impatiently waiting.  Finally, they come and tell us we can see her.  I go in and it was my worst nightmare.  Grey's Anatomy, House, all those hospital shows don't even give any justice.   She had so many wires, so many tubes, and so many machines.  I see her arms.  Two little white casts.  I see the breathing machine and again, I lose it.  I ask why she has that.  They reassure me that she CAN breath on her own, but because they put her to sleep (Not a coma) her organs go to sleep sometimes as well, this just helps her breath.  Gives her brain the oxygen it needs to heal.  Then they give us what all is wrong.   

* Two broken wrists.

* Broken left collarbone.

* Broken left eye socket

* Hematoma behind the left eye

* Small brain bleed on right side frontal lob

* Brain welling on right side frontal lob

* Urine in her right kidney

* Bruise on her left lower lung

* Small Scraps and bruises

* Whiplash

From Dom's feet the sight of machines you see is; above her right shoulder is her heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory. Below that is a machine that shows her brain swelling number. Above her head was her breathing machine. Above her left shoulder is a grey tower of meds.  It had her sleeping meds, brain swelling meds, and much much more.  She had regular IV bags. After a couple days she also had blood bags, plasma drips, calcium drips; all to add to the other meds.  We really didn't need lights in the room cause all the monitors and lights kept it pretty lite.  

Dominique had 5 different central lines/IV lines.  1 - on her right collarbone area.  2 - her right pelvic area.  1 - top of right foot.  1 - top of left foot.  

18 Feb 2012 - Thomas and I filled out police report while my dad was watching over Dominique.  

17-21 Feb 2012 - All we did was watch monitors change numbers.  Little to no sleep for all three of us.  

21 Feb 2012 - Decision was made; slowly take her off the brain swelling meds.  Was told at 10am on day 5 they will take the gauge out; if she remained stable all night.  Also 1 central line was taken out.  It was located in the right collarbone. 

22 Feb 2012 - 1000 the Dr. came in and removed the brain-swelling gauge.  They started to slowly lower the sleeping meds drip.  Hours later she started to wake up.  Dom was in and out of it for hours.  Her first words were "Hi and Hello". Thomas stayed the night and Dom fought with him all night long.  She was MEAN.  Dom did not sleep all night. She got her hair washed for the first time.  The nurses have never seen such a thing happen before.  Thomas laid her across the bed, had two different buckets. One empty on his lap and one filled with warm water to rinse the lathered soap. She had so many knots and tangles. Dom felt so much better and quit fighting Thomas. 

21-23 Feb 2012 - were the hardest of days/nights for us.  

23 Feb 2012 - This was one of the best days of moving forward days.  Aleksandra was her nurse. Dom asks her when she can take that tube out of her nose.  Aleksandra told her "she can when she drinks more water".  After a couple hours Dominique asks again but this time it was  "you would be her best friend if she took that tube out of my nose".  So Aleksandra said, "ok, on the count of 3 you cough and I will take it out. 1, 2, 3 Dom started to cough and she pulled it out".  Dom kept saying "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you".  Dom was ear-to-ear smiles after that.  Later; she got 3 different central lines take out.  Located on both feet, and one of the pelvic area ones.  1 left to go.   And she even got her casts cut down so she could feed herself.  The nurses have never had this happen in the NICU so when they heard the loud machine they all came running and watched.  Even the Dr. came running.  I laughed.  She even sat in a chair for the first time.  Dom did not sleep all night.  

24-25 Feb 2012 - Reducing meds, and taking away some meds.  Getting closer and closer to recovery. 

26 Feb 2012 - Last central line was removed.  All med machines were off.   Getting ready to move to the 4th floor.  

27 Feb 2012 - We were on the 4th floor.  First day my mom got to see Dom again.  

28 Feb 2012 - New casts on.  They are red.  

29 Feb 2012 - Dismissed to go home.  

15 March 2012 - casts removed.   

Her nurses and Dr. in the NICU were awesome.  Some spoke broken English, some didn't speak any.  But we all communicated well enough.  They were so kind and if we ever had a question they would answer it or get the answer for us if they didn't know it.  They talked to Dominique in German and English before doing anything to her.  I thought that was great.  She even had a male nurse that I wasn't crazy about at first, but I gave him a chance and he turned out to be awesome.  

Fatty Elephants and Flying Sex

If toilets get shit on and chairs get sit on, then why are puzzle pieces made without oil or beer?

I know its a valid question. 

Its the middle of March. So it will be April soon! Do-over wedding and Spain trip afterwards. I am a blessed man... thats right Im a man!

Started doing that gym thing this week. Gonna try to loose some Europe winter coat! No still will be Euro Spec! I like got on a scale this Monday and I almost threw up on the floor. I was like holy crap! This is crazy! Im like fat! My stomach was so sick to my... well itself! But I can dust away those fatty clouds! 

Hello boys and girls... ever saw two elephants fuck? Now thats some crazy shit! Think about it.. now think about two 3 legged elephants having sex. Now thats some crazy shit! Now throw in a bucket of ketchup, bag of baby marshmallows, and Tom Selleck! 

And we interrupt your nasty visions with this small poem:

Kids are cute

Kids are cool

Kids will make you smile 

Kids will make you laugh

Kids are true

Kids are a pain in the ass when they dont go to bed after yelling over and over go to bed! And then they come down for stupid questions, or wants, or any other fucking excuse not to go to sleep!

So flowers are kinda cool during spring time. They are starting to bloom in front of my house. The spring colors are dancing around me and attracting bugs that have sex on flowers. Great job you two flying and buzzing things. Just fondling each other all over that flower. Ohh yeah... there you go! Take it... take it... ahhhh, spread that pollen everywhere! Just dont bother me! Stay away from me... WTF, I said... Squash!