If I was a bird, I would not fly into windows! Why would you use up all that energy to fly through the summer breeze, to dodge those big trees, to visit old bird friends the next county over, just to smack into a window and not just look dumb but feel dumb also. It shows that birds are tiny and have fucking tiny brains also! You use all that force just to stop and have a headache! Dumb just dumb! You would think for an animal that can walk, sing, and fly... you would be able to differentiate between a damn glass window and the sky? Plus lets not forget that birds belong the fuck outside... So why are you trying to fly in my house anyways! Stupid bird with a bad headache! I hope you remember this day! I hope you remember that the fall to the ground after you flew into my window was as equally painful. Either way, you look dumb right now... trying to stand up. Trying not to look dumb, but it doesn't work. It took some time but now your drunk ass can fly again... not in a straight line, plus your dumb bird friends are laughing at your dumb self!
Ohh by the way, selfish asshole, I will wipe your feathery-face sweat off the glass! Dont fucking worry about cleaning after yourself! Next time I throw up on your tree, I wont feel bad!
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