Christmas is over fuckers! Everyone got their presents and the decorations are coming down tomorrow! We had the honor to see many cool Christmas markets and even spent Christmas weekend in Prague. Had many different hot wines and ate many town specialties. By hot wines I mean hot wines.
I love Christmas and how every one gets together. I like the decorations and the volunteering and donating. I love the smiles and giving. But its always a good day when we throw the tree in the trash and put the decorations in a box and hide them in a dark corner of the attic or basement until next year. I cant wait! By throwing I mean taking the tree apart and tossing it out the door for trash!
I ate a lot of shit this month! By shit I dont mean.... shit... By shit I am talking about food thats not good for me. So for New Years Im gonna get back in shape. By shape I dont mean a typical shape like a square or a triangle... but to loose some weight. My new goal is 50 lbs! I know crazy goal but if you dont have a goal you cant meet you shouldn't have a goal at all!
I wish I had a bakery. So I could bake when ever I want. By when ever I mean always duh! Hot fresh baked bread and cake... sheesh Heaven!
I would have a red K in front of the house and every time I had fresh baked items it would light up!
I bet Santa is having sex right now... Im just saying Santa had a long trip and he still wants a little something special form Mrs Claus. Even old fat mystical people like to have sex after a long day of work. Eating cookies in bed and then getting that white beard wet! HA ha... dont get mad...
By sex I mean sexual intercourse. And by wet beard I mean... Santa will get his beard wet after eating out... in bed.
Too far? Too fucking far? Why cause they are old? Old people still fuck... I know cause I seen it on the intraweb!
Because they are fat? Shiiiiiit fat people get wet to!
Because they are mystical? Helllllllllo?? Its not like Santa ate the apple!
Smile! Dont you role those eyes at me...
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